Stacy Kiebler Has Been Abducted By Aliens

Nothing else explains how she can go from looking like this:



To this:



Aliens, I am telling you. In another week she will look like this:



Because the skin gets kind of loose after the alien wears it for a while.

Want To Watch Minorities Eliminate Each Other?

You don't have to hire homeless people to beat each other up or attend a KKK rally, just watch the new season of SURVIVOR.

For "Survivor: Cook Islands," the 20 castaways will initially be split into four tribes along ethnic lines - black, white, asian and hispanic.

Now, I'm all for identity-politics and I am willing to give Burnett a fair shake. But isn't he Australian?? They practically invented racial genocide.

Best site around to see the 13th Survivor updates? Go here.

Ali G. Pisses Off Actual Kazakhs

You know why Ali G. ( Sasha Baron Cohen ) picked Kazakhstan for his spoof of a ridiculous soviet reporter? BECAUSE NO ONE EVER HEARD OF THE PLACE.

Tourism has gone through the roof thanks to Ali G's character. Which is to say, 5 people have visited instead of 2.

So why would President Bush hold a meeting on the character? I am not sure. The movie premiered in Toronto and Cohen is a British citizen. But Kazakhstan president Nursultan Nazarbayev is to fly to the US to meet President Bush in the coming weeks and on the agenda will be his country's image.

What ever happened to that saying, 'no publicity is bad publicity?'

So what if Cohen alleges that in Kazakhstan homosexuals have to wear blue hats and that the legal age of consent is 8. Sure, that kind of press might only attract Belgian pedophiles, but that would at least keep them out of SouthEast Asia.

Dixie Chicks ... Or ... That Little Fat One That Won't Shut Up

I don't know about any of you but I am sick of defending the Dixie Chicks and their right to free speech. I don't give a crap what some idiot's take on politics is any more than I care what GW Bush thinks about goth music. Her latest dumb f%$k statement about the President is the last straw for me. I am never buying one of their CDs again.

Okay, to be honest, I have never bought one of their CDs anyway but that's only because I don't want my ears to bleed. Maybe I will buy one now ... on Ebay ... just so I can piss on it.

I will, however, buy something from SheDaisy. Because they are hotter and they understand that insulting the President and, by association, America, doesn't sell well with country fans. I am betting Cindy Sheehan still won't buy any of their music.

Your Jedi Mind Trick Moment For September 12th

Michael Witig and his wife were out barbecuing when they saw something streaking through the sky. They turned on their camera and filmed it as fire and smoke billowed behind the mystery object.

Not to worry, said the FAA. It was a just jet that was leaving a contrail behind it and the sun was at just the right angle to reflect off the jet and create the illusion of smoke and fire.

Of course it was. You can do this experiment in your house.

Step 1. Put some bacon in a pan pointing north and light the stove.
Step 2. With the sun at your back, stand at precisely 42 degrees to the left of the north-pointing bacon.
Step 3. Clap your hands and shriek with delight as the bacon appears to be erupting in a trail of fire and smoke.

Then, of course, a hooded figure will appear, wave his hands and say, "These aren't the pieces of bacon you're looking for" and you will forget the whole thing.

Good News! Eva Longoria Is Sick Of TV

She says this is her "last" TV show. Last? Was she ever in one before? I never heard of this kid and would barely have noticed her except she was in her underwear during the whole first season.

Anyway, you and I both know this is crap. With movies like "How I Met My Boyfriend's Dead Fiancee" on her resume I don't smell Oscars coming her way. Look for the premiere of "The Eva Longoria Show" somewhere around September, 2012.

Why "Inside The Actor's Studio" Should Be Cancelled Now

BRAVO'S "INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO" WELCOMES "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" STAR TERI HATCHER AS SHE TALKS IN-DEPTH ABOUT HER LIFE AND CAREER.

EPISODE PREMIERES MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 8-9 PM ET/PT

When Teri Hatcher is all you have left for your season premiere it's time to go.

I guess they are hoping to capitalize on the ratings of "Desperate Housewives", which seems to still be on television. And she can get appearances on talk shows as long as it is. But you be careful if you see her. That Head Of Medusa she's wearing on her neck can really do a number on you:

DVD Releases This Week