Some Guy Who Used To Be Married To Jessica Simpson Is Sensitive Just Like Me

I was genuinely touched when I read that Nick Lachey is scared of his emotions. I think he's a complete idiot for not being happy with a girl who can sing, is famous for being hot and pretty much saved herself for him but to each his own. And I'm incredibly disappointed that the only kinky thing he could think of to do with her was wear her shoes. But even he thinks he may have been too soft for Jessica. She pretty much looks like this so soft isn't something that probably comes to mind for most heterosexual men:



Lachey says, "I'm typically an overly sensitive person, I lay my heart out there too often. I've never been shy about crying. Sometimes we're so scared of our emotions that we rob ourselves."

Are you friggin' kidding me? No wonder she fooled around with Johnny Knoxville on The Dukes Of Hazzard set.

Okay, okay, before I get a lot of emails about being hard on the kid, I'll retract some of my jeering. Hey, I am sensitive too, people. I have cried - twice. Once at the end of Ole Yeller when he dies and once when my chick yelled at me for sleeping with her sister. But I eventually forgave her for that. So I am sensitive and I can let go of the hurt.

Paris Hilton Won't Strip For Playboy

When I first saw the headline and read that Paris Hilton was too 'proper' for Playboy I almost shot my coffee across my desk. And these Keurig pods cost me $.40 each so I am not usually wasting any of it. But there it is, in black and white, so it must be true. Like everything on this blog. She says Hugh Hefner has asked her 'a million times' to get naked for his magazine but that she'll never do it.

Does this not make sense to you either? Is this girl famous for anything other than making sex videos with various boyfriends? Well, here in California she is also famous for going down on a Carl's hamburger in one of their commercials but all that did was make me an In-N-Out Burger fan.

So I Googled 'paris hilton nude' just for fun and within 0.26 seconds it came back with 38,000,000 hits. Now, I am usually all for skinny, naked women. Especially skinny naked women with IQs somewhere below that of a sock monkey. But even I have my limits and I respect you all too much to show any of those pictures here.

Yet even looking away quickly, before my eyes rebelled and tore themselves out of their sockets, I saw a girl who looks like a life-sized cartoon cricket. And a girl who’s naked all the damn time. So just to do a reality check I looked out my office window and there she was, naked in my parking lot, trying to distract me from writing that she looks like a friend of Pinocchio's. So why she claims she won't get naked for Hugh is beyond my comprehension.