Even If You're Fat And Rich, You're Still Screwed

Because we needed this study to tell us money can't buy happiness* and this one to tell us fat people actually are not more jolly than the rest of us.

So the next time someone tries to set me up on a date by using the catch-phrase "she is sooooo jolly" I will see right through it. I'll know they mean she is really thin and hot.

So, really, what is the benefit to being fat if you can't sit around smugly eating your second box of Krispy Kreme's secure in the knowledge that you're happier than the rest of us?. I, for one, am happy to hear someone finally did this study. I have gotten tired of fat people always lording it over me because they are supposedly so much happier than I am. And I'm tired of them making jokes about me not shopping in the 'stout' section of department stores. End intolerance toward thin people now.

This is one time I think more money should be thrown at studies. We have improved as a society now that fat people can't continue to act superior because of their innate happiness.

Now they should do a study proving that men with small hands and sports cars don't have small penises. Because I am really fed up with that one too.

*See the full study here. Their studies also show Republicans are happier than Democrats. But that's because we're all Oil Barons.

Best Thing About "The Terminator?"

No, it wasn't Arnold Schwarzenegger or even the cool robot at the end ... it was Linda Hamilton.

I know this sounds a little batty but if you watch her performance in the first movie and in the second, it is almost like they are not the same person. She was pretty easily dismissed in the first movie because it was assumed she was just that 'type' of girl - kind of like Matthew McConaughey, only better to look at.



But in the second one, she just goes nuts. I think T2 is easily dismissed because any time the hoopla is about the liquid metal rather than the story, you know you have trouble. But it would have been a lot worse if it had that annoying kid and no Linda Hamilton. And The Terminator still stands the test of time in a big way.

As a younger guy, I assumed it was because Michael Biehn but as I have watched the movie in later years my thinking slowly changed.

Why do I bring this up? Because the people at CHUD have some discussion on the upcoming TV series, "The Sarah Connor Chronicles."

The possibilities are endless. Sure, you can start off with her having to learn to basically defend herself against thugs on a weekly basis while corporate teams hunt for her as a recurring theme - but eventually they will introduce a Terminator, and it can really go nuts from there.

Let's keep our fingers crossed. There are good examples of TV versions of movies, like "Buffy" and there are bad examples - namely, everything else.

Have $25,000 Burning A Hole In Your Pocket?

I'll show you how to spend it.

Wait, you already guessed. Yes, I recommend you invest in a bronze casting of Suri Cruise's bowel movement.



There was a time when I didn't respect Tom Cruise very much, but that was mostly because I thought he had to grab Katie Holmes by the hair because he was incapable of sticking his hand up her ass, like you do with a normal puppet:



I have changed my mind. This guy's life is just a great big sundae of Awesomeness ... and knowing someone will buy a bronze casting of your kid's poop for $25,000 is the cherry right smack on top of it.