Saturday, August 19, 2006

Barry Manilow To Have Hip Surgery

Like an operation can make that guy hip in 2006.

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Next they'll be trying to bring back Leo Sayer. If they do you can bet I am writing me a letter to Congress.

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Heidi Klum Looks Forward To Lots More Airbrushing

Well, actually what she said was she wants to have a lot more children, but we know what that means.

It means airbrushing, people. And a lot of it. If you disagree, convince me she reaaaaally looks like this spread she did in August's Esquire Magazine:

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Jessica Biel Gets A Free Lunch

How is she different from millions of other women? She did it for a good cause.

We have talked about Jessica's date before, here and here, but that's no reason not to give her credit again. Plus, she looks like this:

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Friday, August 18, 2006

Enjoying Your Ipod?



Apple says you can go on enjoying it. The company, which just did $5,000,000,000 in revenue this past quarter, mostly on Ipod sales, says it did an internal investigation and exonerated itself of claims that it used forced labor at its plant in China.

Apple did agree, however, that some people were working too many hours. Which was, you know, voluntary. Since workers there get $50 a month they like working 15 hours a day. Apple is that much fun to work at.

How Slow Is This Friday?





That's right, things are so slow I am reduced to posting a picture of Eva Longoria.

Snorkeling.

Yes. Snorkeling.

I don't think she is all that hot, but what's up with the Milkbone dog biscuit in her waistband? She may not be pretty, but she's no dog either.

Only Been Arrested 225 Times?

Pussy.

Kevin Holder has been arrested 226 times.

And you thought Nebraska was just a Bruce Springsteen album.

Why you want to move to Lincoln if you are a criminal? Lots of people have more than 500 arrests in this city of 226,000 people. The record was held by Edward Rooks, who died in 2004, with 652 arrests. Which means if you're a little more moderate in your lawbreaking, you won't even make the newspapers, much less this website.

Some Movie About Snakes Opens This Weekend

Can it live up to the hype?
Do you think it really needs to? It's mothaf----n' snakes, that's all that it needs.

Look for Samuel L. Jackson, who has made 89 movies, mostly in the last year, to quickly begin growing nauseous at the catch-phrase that will haunt him for the rest of his career.

Dead Pig Props Anger Animal Activists

They don't like that performance artist Kira O'Reilly sits naked for hours with a dead pig, it seems.

Said PETA, "As Miss O'Reilly seems to have to depend on the shock value of using a murdered pig as a prop, perhaps lacking the talent to make it as a proper artist, may we suggest she take up a day job instead to pay the bills?"

PETA doesn't seem to recognize the irony of a 'rights' organization seeking to squash O'Reilly's. Crucifixes dipped on urine are still A-okay, though.

Woman Sues Batman

Deborah Dozier Potter, whose father William Dozier was one of the producers of the 1960's "Batman" show, filed a lawsuit Wednesday in Superior Court that alleges fraud, concealment and breach of contract.

She is an heir to her father's estate and holds a portion of the assets of Greenway Productions Inc. which produced the series four decades ago that Fox distributed, according to the lawsuit.

Basically, they sold the rights and didn't cut her in because her daddy did some work four decades ago. I'd recommend she get a job, like sniping people on the internet.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Internet Shocker: Child Star Does Drugs


You read it here first ... okay,well, about 15th. No matter, read it again. Haley Joel Osment, precocious three-named lad who has annoyed the bejeesus out of us since THE SIXTH SENSE, has been charged with being drunk and possessing pot when he flipped his car.

What will he say in the clink? "I see ... big guys named Spike."

Yeah, that was too easy.

Justin Timberlake Has A Catfight With Taylor Hicks

But they are playing nice again now. After saying Hicks can't carry a tune in a bucket Justin backtracked with these carefully thought out words:

"If he has any skeletons whatsoever; if, God forbid, he's gay, and all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like, `Oh, my God, I voted for a queer!' It's just too much pressure."

So Justin thinks he is gay and can't sing. Yeah, I'd say that's a retraction.

Oscar Swag Go Bye-Bye

Prince Harry Is Not a Drunken Lech After All




Well, he probably is, but The Sun had to apologize for printing three year-old pictures as current. Who do they think they are, Reuters?

Jessica Biel Is Still Hotter Than Your Girlfriend

See the rest of her Vanity Fair photoshoot outtakes here.

Roswell Baby Still Unseen


Katie Holmes still hasn't chosen a suitable infant to play the role of daughter Suri.
Story here.

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