Heidi Fleiss To Open Male Bordello

In the best idea I have heard of since Microsoft® BOB® and Smucker's® Goober®, convicted madame Heidi Fleiss has decided what Nevada needs is an all-male bordello. Now, I can understand why men might visit a brothel. I have seen some of my fellow men in action trying to land dates ... and it ain't pretty. Paying is always better when you're too incompetent to hold a decent conversation. And if there's one thing I know, it's that women expect conversation before they give it up. Or an Alaskan winter's worth of cocaine.

But, holy mackerel, why would women need a brothel? Women can go into pretty much any bar in America and announce "I have a vagina" and immediately be handed a line of willing men so long it can be seen from the space shuttle.

This is not to say it will be hard for Fleiss to find employees. Men, confused at the idea of getting paid for sex, have already flooded her with a 1,000 applications.

You're thinking this would be a great business for me to go into, right? I don't need the press. I am already the cause of more web-based female masturbation fantasies than Brad Pitt and George Cloony combined because of this blog.