tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329131922011-04-21T11:01:24.740-07:00Because we have everything, including the kitchen sinkChief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comBlogger801100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-72679764397716920242007-05-18T11:37:00.000-07:002007-05-18T11:39:13.317-07:00

Clearly Dean Hamilton isn't sure why he is at Cannes with Pamela Anderson. Presumably it's to pose with Pamela Anderson and do "Blonde and Blonder" promos. Maybe he got distracted?

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1168551036706949202007-01-11T13:29:00.000-08:002007-01-11T13:30:36.723-08:00

I just learned that Hilary Swank and some guy named Chad Lowe ( i.e. nobody ) are getting a divorce after a long separation.   I have to tell you I saw this coming.Did I see this coming because she has an Oscar and forgot to mention him when she received it?No.Did I see it coming because a girl who looks like this should have stepped up to someone who does not look like her little sister a long

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1164007707850433272006-11-19T23:28:00.000-08:002006-11-19T23:28:27.870-08:00

People who have known me for a long time know that when I am not dazzling the world with scientific brilliance, I am a Formula One race car driver who also solves mysteries on TV. What the rest of you may not know is that I was also the star of a major motion picture. It was a different take on the James Bond story - I played an American spy who pretends to be a scientist and the movie was

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1162410210853360942006-11-01T11:40:00.000-08:002006-11-01T11:47:21.900-08:00

With all this business about girls dressing like tramps and articles stating that 140 incidents of sexual behavior occur on prime-time network television each week I am starting to worry that the media might be a tad over the top.Sure, you will automatically dismiss that kind of talk as an aging guy romancing the days of his youth. I usually think that also. I know we had suggestive TV when I

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1162410367702465572006-10-30T11:44:00.000-08:002006-11-01T11:46:26.890-08:00

I guess the NY Times is just discovering that Halloween is the perfect time for women to let out their inner tramp.Men knew this. Hell, we invented Halloween many years ago for no other reason than to get Celtic women out of those ill-fitting robes and into some cool outfits.Even seeing that picture makes me feel all piratey. If she were here I'd totally make her surrender her booty.“It’s a

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1162182846200206342006-10-29T20:33:00.000-08:002006-10-29T20:34:06.213-08:00

I respect people who do the Iron Man thing. It's not easy to spend a day swimming 2.4 miles, then biking 112 miles and finishing off with a 26.2 mile marathon run.I read about Dick Hoyt and probably wouldn't have noticed the Iron Man part except I saw he is 65. That's not trivial at any age, much less 65.Then I saw that he is 65 and does this whole thing carrying his 44-year-old disabled son

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1161836003781688222006-10-25T21:12:00.000-07:002006-10-25T23:44:58.740-07:00

Groundbreaking - and heartwarmingly unessential - research done by University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou has attempted to confirm what a generation of suicide girls has always feared - that vampires do not exist.His reasoning? On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was just over 530 million people. If one vampire existed on that day and bit one person per month, and

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1161706285722401202006-10-24T09:10:00.000-07:002006-10-24T09:11:25.740-07:00

If there's one thing I hate it's rumors about me and women I am not actually nailing. And, frankly, this thing about me and Kate Beckinsale has gotten out of hand. I am not responsible for the collapse of her marriage, no matter how bad it looks.Okay, because your opinion of me is important, here is what happened: I happened to be in an internet cafe in Japan and Kate is noodling away on a

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1160678377567586512006-10-12T11:35:00.000-07:002006-10-12T11:39:37.583-07:00

See that photo? They're the very picture of idyllic on-screen happiness, right? Not so, it seems. Patrick Dempsey and whoever-that-other-guy is apparently got into a scrape because that other guy snipped at one of his fellow prima donna's for not being ready to act. Patrick Dempsey took that as a cue to jump in and flex his acting muscles by pretending to want to fight.You can bet a lot of

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1160679924942191852006-10-11T11:44:00.000-07:002006-10-12T12:05:40.606-07:00

Scarlett Johansson is sooooo transparent. I'm not promiscuous, she says and then goes on to explain how she wants to be.So I will categorize her statements to make it easier for you. Here it is, the Celebrity Deathmatch you have been waiting for. Scarlett The Whore versus Scarlett Not The Whore:"Josh is very sweet. He's a good boy."Whore."Contrary to popular belief, I'm not promiscuous."Not a

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1160086943624777662006-10-05T15:14:00.000-07:002006-10-05T15:23:28.920-07:00

Hang out with German royalty. This barely made the news in the U.S., because it is so unsurprising. Cocaine and gay orgies in a party thrown by a German Count? Next we'll hear they pissed on each other. Yeah. Big shock.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1159307650756157392006-09-26T14:43:00.000-07:002006-09-26T14:54:10.770-07:00

Or is it Paris Hilton? I don't really need to add anything to that to make it funny, do I?

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158775986779161972006-09-20T11:10:00.000-07:002006-10-19T13:35:37.166-07:00

Maybe because she says this; "Whose life would I like to step into for the day? The president's. I could probably get some things done in the Oval Office."Sure she could. To try that out, maybe instead of playing the Austrian kidnap victim for her next movie she could do a biography on Monica Lewinsky.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158736112897826392006-09-20T06:56:00.000-07:002006-09-20T00:08:32.913-07:00

Give her a big hand.Next time you are busted for using cocaine, use Janet Jackson's favorite excuse: "He gave me some liquidy stuff and it helped me so much... It was in a vial."No kidding. And you didn't suspect a thing. I would make jokes about Janet Jackson's intelligence but I have made references to 'retarded cats' twice already today.We all know she was among the first to drink "Cocaine"

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158642041495376292006-09-19T06:56:00.000-07:002006-09-18T22:00:41.496-07:00

The solution to terrorism problems, says Igor Shpektor, mayor of Vorkuta, is sex. And plenty of it. He said: “Legalising prostitution would give men an opportunity within the law to address their emotions sexually with a provided service rather than expressing them in the form of xenophobia and extremism.”Indeed. Those Muslim guys kill infidels because they get 72 virgins in Heaven for doing

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158641710923116302006-09-18T21:46:00.000-07:002006-09-19T09:35:07.880-07:00

Scarlett Johansson is in line to play the most famous kidnap victim of 2006. You know, the Austrian girl, Natascha Kampusch, held as a sex slave by some creepy Austrian guy.This casting choice also makes his suicide by train track after she escaped a lot more believable too.I sense an Academy Award here.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158641062667439182006-09-17T21:43:00.000-07:002006-09-18T22:03:26.003-07:00

So she wears a bag strap between them to try and hide them.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158640913589595862006-09-16T21:31:00.000-07:002006-09-18T22:05:26.146-07:00

Nothing else explains how she can go from looking like this:To this:Aliens, I am telling you. In another week she will look like this:Because the skin gets kind of loose after the alien wears it for a while.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158187599089686852006-09-14T15:38:00.000-07:002006-09-18T22:03:04.906-07:00

You don't have to hire homeless people to beat each other up or attend a KKK rally, just watch the new season of SURVIVOR.For "Survivor: Cook Islands," the 20 castaways will initially be split into four tribes along ethnic lines - black, white, asian and hispanic.Now, I'm all for identity-politics and I am willing to give Burnett a fair shake. But isn't he Australian?? They practically invented

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158184604843927702006-09-13T14:50:00.000-07:002006-09-13T14:56:44.860-07:00

You know why Ali G. ( Sasha Baron Cohen ) picked Kazakhstan for his spoof of a ridiculous soviet reporter? BECAUSE NO ONE EVER HEARD OF THE PLACE.Tourism has gone through the roof thanks to Ali G's character. Which is to say, 5 people have visited instead of 2.So why would President Bush hold a meeting on the character? I am not sure. The movie premiered in Toronto and Cohen is a British

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158113209553781242006-09-12T16:24:00.000-07:002006-09-12T21:34:11.186-07:00

I don't know about any of you but I am sick of defending the Dixie Chicks and their right to free speech. I don't give a crap what some idiot's take on politics is any more than I care what GW Bush thinks about goth music. Her latest dumb f%$k statement about the President is the last straw for me. I am never buying one of their CDs again.Okay, to be honest, I have never bought one of their

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158075918212998052006-09-12T08:44:00.000-07:002006-09-12T08:45:18.213-07:00

Michael Witig and his wife were out barbecuing when they saw something streaking through the sky. They turned on their camera and filmed it as fire and smoke billowed behind the mystery object.Not to worry, said the FAA. It was a just jet that was leaving a contrail behind it and the sun was at just the right angle to reflect off the jet and create the illusion of smoke and fire.Of course it was

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158075072590720862006-09-12T08:27:00.000-07:002006-09-12T08:45:37.426-07:00

She says this is her "last" TV show. Last? Was she ever in one before? I never heard of this kid and would barely have noticed her except she was in her underwear during the whole first season.Anyway, you and I both know this is crap. With movies like "How I Met My Boyfriend's Dead Fiancee" on her resume I don't smell Oscars coming her way. Look for the premiere of "The Eva Longoria Show"

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158041459944464702006-09-11T23:03:00.000-07:002006-09-11T23:10:59.956-07:00

BRAVO'S "INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO" WELCOMES "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" STAR TERI HATCHER AS SHE TALKS IN-DEPTH ABOUT HER LIFE AND CAREER.EPISODE PREMIERES MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 8-9 PM ET/PTWhen Teri Hatcher is all you have left for your season premiere it's time to go.I guess they are hoping to capitalize on the ratings of "Desperate Housewives", which seems to still be on television. And she can

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1158042652341607012006-09-10T23:30:00.000-07:002006-09-11T23:30:52.350-07:00

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782970752973472006-09-08T23:22:00.000-07:002006-09-08T23:22:50.753-07:00

Because we needed this study to tell us money can't buy happiness* and this one to tell us fat people actually are not more jolly than the rest of us.So the next time someone tries to set me up on a date by using the catch-phrase "she is sooooo jolly" I will see right through it. I'll know they mean she is really thin and hot.So, really, what is the benefit to being fat if you can't sit around

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157650061586522082006-09-07T08:06:00.000-07:002006-09-07T10:27:41.623-07:00

No, it wasn't Arnold Schwarzenegger or even the cool robot at the end ... it was Linda Hamilton.I know this sounds a little batty but if you watch her performance in the first movie and in the second, it is almost like they are not the same person. She was pretty easily dismissed in the first movie because it was assumed she was just that 'type' of girl - kind of like Matthew McConaughey, only

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157525949384616492006-09-05T23:58:00.000-07:002006-09-06T00:17:41.436-07:00

I'll show you how to spend it.Wait, you already guessed. Yes, I recommend you invest in a bronze casting of Suri Cruise's bowel movement.There was a time when I didn't respect Tom Cruise very much, but that was mostly because I thought he had to grab Katie Holmes by the hair because he was incapable of sticking his hand up her ass, like you do with a normal puppet:I have changed my mind. This

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156988611728496542006-08-30T18:35:00.000-07:002006-08-30T18:43:31.730-07:00

I think 85% of men wish this was an infectious disease that would spread to all women ... and we'd have a whole planet full of hot, rich girls who can't talk. And not much competition from Nick Lachey types, because the only kinky thing they could think to do with her was wear her shoes.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156969895225255362006-08-30T13:15:00.000-07:002006-08-30T13:31:47.353-07:00

It isn't just that their music is bad ... half of country music is bad. And it isn't just that it's too pop - if you listen to Shania Twain's big album anywhere else in the world and compare it to the country version, the only difference is the country version has steel guitars post-processed in. That's it.So country music fans have no problem with crap music if the girls are respectful and at

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156952901353631722006-08-30T08:42:00.000-07:002006-08-30T08:48:21.353-07:00

Wow ... what a run of bad luck that Bush guy has had on CNN. It's almost like you would think they don't like him. Last November, during a live speech by V.P. Dick Cheney, a big "X" kept appearring. Then yesterday they had to apologize for mistakenly leaving a microphone on during a Bush speech ... while the anchor took a piss.Who runs CNN now? Someone from the BBC, I bet.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156952481753130462006-08-30T08:38:00.000-07:002006-08-30T08:41:33.716-07:00

We said look thinner, not be thinner. If you are in the anchor chair at CBS, you get all of the Photoshop help you can stand."The picture was retouched without the knowledge of Ms. Couric or CBS News management," a CBS spokesman said. Couric, who was made aware of the picture's alteration yesterday, joked that she liked the original better. "There's more of me to love," she quipped.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156952292608233482006-08-30T08:34:00.000-07:002006-08-30T08:38:12.623-07:00

Those Aussies are nothing if not inventive. If you've seen Aussie women, you know two things; why Aussie men drink a lot and how good their imaginations are.So count on folks in Oz to ease gas woes. Visit a brothel, get cheap gas."If you come in and spend time with one of our lovely ladies, we'll give you a discount of 20 cents a liter," Kerry, manager of Sydney brothel The Site, told Reuters

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156897274520619862006-08-29T17:14:00.000-07:002006-08-29T17:27:21.466-07:00

Or so it would seem. Brad Pitt may have been lulled by Jolie's smoky intensity but what Amish boy wouldn't?His parents are not so easily swayed. Seems they didn't like her boozing at her son's birthday party and left early.A source told America's Star magazine: "They were the only ones not drinking and it was uncomfortable for them. Things were very tense that weekend, and they left with an

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156734948336415202006-08-28T08:01:00.000-07:002006-09-08T18:18:58.496-07:00

It's not bad enough he wants to eliminate smoking references in old movies and censor them in new ones ... California is chock full of fundamentalist health mullahs like him so that's nothing to get alarmed about.Now he says Mel Gibson should 'come clean' about his anti-Semitism, namely in making The Passion Of The Christ.Yes, he thinks the movie is anti-Semitic because ... wait for it, wait for

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156734009463510782006-08-27T19:57:00.000-07:002006-08-27T20:00:09.463-07:00

She even agreed to take over the role of the Crypt Keeper. It will be easy for her because her face shed all its skin in her latest meltdown.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156733488225982022006-08-27T19:34:00.000-07:002006-08-27T19:51:28.240-07:00

It's sad but fitting that a guy who was always after the next young thing has been dumped by wife number 5, 34 years his junior.I maintain an affection Andre Previn because I was exposed to him at an impressionable age and he was involved in a monumental event in my life - I was a college student in Pittsburgh when he was conducting the Pittsburgh Symphony and he agreed to play piano with Ella

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156304444320455712006-08-22T20:18:00.000-07:002006-08-23T08:35:58.450-07:00

Sumner Redstone doesn't need any advice from me since he has approximately a gazillion more dollars than I do, but I am thinking he sold short at the wrong time here. Cutting Tom Cruise, realistically to be rid of high salaries but likely because of bad polls, sounds like the public relations move of a crotchedly old man who has lost his mind.This is the guy who paid $8 billion for Blockbuster.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156267387053974982006-08-22T10:21:00.000-07:002006-08-22T10:23:07.053-07:00

She says she likes to cry when she listens to her album "Paris," because it is so good.I don't really need to add anything to that to make it funny, do I?

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156267038542908902006-08-22T07:13:00.000-07:002006-08-22T10:17:18.613-07:00

Discrimination, political correctness or right-minded concern? Depends on who you ask. But British Channel Boomerang has banned two episodes of Tom & Jerry because, as they say, smoking is glamorized. And that's bad. I guess Tom attempting to eat Jerry every episode and hitting each other with frying pans and generally wrecking the house is okay in Britain but smoking references need to be

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156178456795917272006-08-21T09:36:00.000-07:002006-08-21T09:40:56.803-07:00

Yes, that's it, they claim they have discovered free energy. It's alongside David Copperfield's Fountain Of Youth on the road to El Dorado ... but be careful, because it's guarded by the Easter Bunny.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156084158104981212006-08-20T07:19:00.000-07:002006-08-20T07:37:00.373-07:00

Wait ... neither does New York City. Why are we just hearing about this? I guess I can believe it about LA, because they only have prosthetic ears, but New York? I would have thought a city that was 60% immigrants would love homespun music made by people who hate everyone who doesn't love country music.* But, no, it's true. LA has apparently lost its last country music station. KZLA-FM is

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156083532012289632006-08-20T07:09:00.000-07:002006-08-20T07:32:26.300-07:00

He's tired of being somewhere below Will Smith on the 'black man everyone everyone can laugh at' ladder of success so he has decided to branch into violence instead.MC Hammer, this is your career calling. It's been a good year for Busta Rhymes, publicity-wise. He's wanted for questioning regarding a shooting and has been sued by a fan for authorizing a beatdown when the fan asked for an

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156082926780642672006-08-20T07:04:00.000-07:002006-08-20T07:34:32.110-07:00

Talk about six degrees of obscurity. I never heard of either of these guys. I guess I don't watch enough crap on TV. But anyway, Vincent "Don Vito" Margera, uncle of Viva La Bam star Bam Margera, was held without bond Saturday on a charge of sexual assault on a child.The article doesn't say whether the child was a boy or a girl but I suppose Hollywood will be relieved if it's a girl. Then

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156014869220557692006-08-19T12:10:00.000-07:002006-08-19T12:14:29.220-07:00

Like an operation can make that guy hip in 2006.Next they'll be trying to bring back Leo Sayer. If they do you can bet I am writing me a letter to Congress.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156014511108808632006-08-19T12:02:00.000-07:002006-08-19T17:28:36.496-07:00

Well, actually what she said was she wants to have a lot more children, but we know what that means.It means airbrushing, people. And a lot of it. If you disagree, convince me she reaaaaally looks like this spread she did in August's Esquire Magazine:

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156013471268901442006-08-19T11:49:00.000-07:002006-08-19T12:00:14.836-07:00

How is she different from millions of other women? She did it for a good cause.We have talked about Jessica's date before, here and here, but that's no reason not to give her credit again. Plus, she looks like this:

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155928947823831942006-08-18T12:18:00.000-07:002006-08-18T12:22:27.833-07:00

Apple says you can go on enjoying it. The company, which just did $5,000,000,000 in revenue this past quarter, mostly on Ipod sales, says it did an internal investigation and exonerated itself of claims that it used forced labor at its plant in China.Apple did agree, however, that some people were working too many hours. Which was, you know, voluntary. Since workers there get $50 a month they

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155927186985331262006-08-18T11:48:00.000-07:002006-08-18T11:53:06.986-07:00

That's right, things are so slow I am reduced to posting a picture of Eva Longoria.Snorkeling.Yes. Snorkeling.I don't think she is all that hot, but what's up with the Milkbone dog biscuit in her waistband? She may not be pretty, but she's no dog either.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155926744781032012006-08-18T11:39:00.000-07:002006-08-18T11:45:44.780-07:00

Pussy.Kevin Holder has been arrested 226 times.And you thought Nebraska was just a Bruce Springsteen album. Why you want to move to Lincoln if you are a criminal? Lots of people have more than 500 arrests in this city of 226,000 people. The record was held by Edward Rooks, who died in 2004, with 652 arrests. Which means if you're a little more moderate in your lawbreaking, you won't even make

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155919899743228932006-08-18T09:48:00.000-07:002006-08-18T11:32:19.540-07:00

Can it live up to the hype?Do you think it really needs to? It's mothaf----n' snakes, that's all that it needs.Look for Samuel L. Jackson, who has made 89 movies, mostly in the last year, to quickly begin growing nauseous at the catch-phrase that will haunt him for the rest of his career.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155919576316442612006-08-18T09:43:00.000-07:002006-12-21T21:20:53.213-08:00

They don't like that performance artist Kira O'Reilly sits naked for hours with a dead pig, it seems.Said PETA, "As Miss O'Reilly seems to have to depend on the shock value of using a murdered pig as a prop, perhaps lacking the talent to make it as a proper artist, may we suggest she take up a day job instead to pay the bills?" PETA doesn't seem to recognize the irony of a 'rights' organization

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155919326339302202006-08-18T09:39:00.000-07:002006-08-18T09:54:23.100-07:00

Deborah Dozier Potter, whose father William Dozier was one of the producers of the 1960's "Batman" show, filed a lawsuit Wednesday in Superior Court that alleges fraud, concealment and breach of contract.She is an heir to her father's estate and holds a portion of the assets of Greenway Productions Inc. which produced the series four decades ago that Fox distributed, according to the

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155852456329552042006-08-17T15:03:00.000-07:002006-08-19T12:01:39.850-07:00

You read it here first ... okay,well, about 15th. No matter, read it again. Haley Joel Osment, precocious three-named lad who has annoyed the bejeesus out of us since THE SIXTH SENSE, has been charged with being drunk and possessing pot when he flipped his car.What will he say in the clink? "I see ... big guys named Spike."Yeah, that was too easy.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155848746643151222006-08-17T14:03:00.000-07:002006-08-17T14:55:25.490-07:00

But they are playing nice again now. After saying Hicks can't carry a tune in a bucket Justin backtracked with these carefully thought out words:"If he has any skeletons whatsoever; if, God forbid, he's gay, and all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like, `Oh, my God, I voted for a queer!' It's just too much pressure."So Justin thinks he is gay and can't sing. Yeah, I'd say

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155848537480850972006-08-17T13:59:00.000-07:002006-08-18T15:24:02.223-07:00

Was $100,000 in tax free gifts the big reason you wanted to attend the Academy Awards? Well, don't rent that tux. The Internal Revenue Service and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced a settlement today on "tax obligations" through 2005 for the bags, which in recent years the academy has given to as many as 200 hosts and performers on Oscar night. The academy also announced

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155846842644826552006-08-17T13:32:00.000-07:002006-08-17T13:57:27.486-07:00

Well, he probably is, but The Sun had to apologize for printing three year-old pictures as current. Who do they think they are, Reuters?

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155846667977585882006-08-17T13:27:00.000-07:002006-08-17T13:31:07.976-07:00

See the rest of her Vanity Fair photoshoot outtakes here.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1155846423446599282006-08-17T13:23:00.000-07:002006-08-17T13:58:15.340-07:00

Katie Holmes still hasn't chosen a suitable infant to play the role of daughter Suri.Story here.

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156013672363530382006-07-20T11:53:00.000-07:002006-08-19T11:54:32.366-07:00

Jessica Biel Is A Cheap DateAnd officially a good sport. And she raised $30,000 for a charity auction by donating a lunch date. A local guy named John paid $30,000 for the opportunity to hit on Biel, who was rightfully ESQUIRE's 'sexiest woman alive' last year. Said Biel in a taped message, "I promise, I'm a cheap date." Nope. Biel just went up in stature, I am thinking.I bought a date with

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156013588889372952006-07-18T11:51:00.000-07:002006-08-19T11:53:08.893-07:00

Science Saves LivesSo science isn't all bad. Sure, they invented guns, which accidentally kill 1,500 Americans a year, but they also invented cars, which accidentally kill 43,000 Americans per ... oh, wait, maybe that isn't a good example. Here's a better one. They found a CURE FOR CANCER! Well, Dr. Miracles did. Like most good men of science he has a sense of humor and makes his job fun,

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782877584919852006-06-13T23:20:00.000-07:002006-09-08T23:21:17.586-07:00

Robocup 2006 will take place later today in Bremen, bringing us one step closer to apocalyptic destruction at the hands of our robot overlords. Yes, it is robots playing soccer. Teaching robots to play soccer without any kind of central control is exactly what society needs. Next we can teach them to make factories that build more robots and dress up like Yul Brynner. Or that chick on

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156897491470077232006-05-29T07:24:00.000-07:002006-08-29T17:24:51.486-07:00

And no, I am not just some crazy guy standing on the street corner saying it. I know it must be true because Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had a baby and they have decided it must be so.This young girl ( a girl for a Messiah - how progressive ) is named Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. Now, I have read the Old Testament. Still, I felt I needed to look it up just the same because a man of advancing

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782794059805272006-05-24T23:19:00.000-07:002006-09-08T23:19:54.070-07:00

Part 1: The AlbinosAlbinos are pissed about being portrayed as creepy criminals ... again. This time in The Da Vinci Code.Why does this happen every time we get a new villain? Terrorists have to be creepy Europeans now because it's not Politcally Correct to use Muslims. Yeah, we all know there are lots of Prussian Christian Fundamentalists blowing up stuff. You think Back To The Future would

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782735348457302006-05-05T23:18:00.000-07:002006-09-08T23:18:55.350-07:00

Presidente del Gobierno José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero of Spain said the Spanish Republic has decided to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by revoking Mexican independence:"It has always been a common misperception that the 5th of May is a celebration of Mexican independence from Spain. This is not correct, is is actually a celebration of victory over the French in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, but

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782687920256702006-04-11T23:17:00.000-07:002006-09-08T23:18:07.920-07:00

As if she needed any more assurance after making Chris Martin the boy's father. Obviously as soon as it's discovered that the dad in that family is the guy from Coldplay you can bet helpful bigger kids will rob the young lad of his dignity and his pants.But that's the future. How did she insure he will get beat up right now? She named him Moses! That's right, an old school Biblical name, and

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782644567374142006-03-05T23:17:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:17:24.570-07:00

Daniel Craig has been under fire from moment one. Not many people have thought he would be good in the role - except the daughter of the guy who built the franchise. We've already established that English chicks are nuts and having a girl pick the next James Bond is proof of it.So he's blonde and that isn't good. But whatever. He's also a major league wuss who can't even drive JB's car and

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782577273215372006-02-28T23:15:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:16:17.276-07:00

Researchers at the World Health Organization ( WHO? ) are claiming that the last natural blonde will be born in Finland in 2202.How is such a crime against nature possible? Well, blondes really are more fun - even Opie's daughter can get a job in a hit movie once she turned blonde. This is apodictically evident by virtue of the fact that when the last Ice Age ended 11,000 years ago blonde hair

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782530893449472006-02-09T23:14:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:15:30.893-07:00

If there's one thing I know, it's what God meant when he created the Easter Bunny. Somewhere in there the Easter Bunny became associated with religion and when you add religion to things, you get alcohol-and-sex-fueled holidays. The holiday we are talking about today is the really fun period in Catholicism right before you have to give up stuff until you get Easter eggs 6 weeks later. Let's

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1156988469244454462006-01-18T06:37:00.000-08:002006-08-30T18:41:09.266-07:00

I was genuinely touched when I read that Nick Lachey is scared of his emotions. I think he's a complete idiot for not being happy with a girl who can sing, is famous for being hot and pretty much saved herself for him but to each his own. And I'm incredibly disappointed that the only kinky thing he could think of to do with her was wear her shoes. But even he thinks he may have been too soft

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782430321876892006-01-17T23:12:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:13:50.323-07:00

When I first saw the headline and read that Paris Hilton was too 'proper' for Playboy I almost shot my coffee across my desk. And these Keurig pods cost me $.40 each so I am not usually wasting any of it. But there it is, in black and white, so it must be true. Like everything on this blog. She says Hugh Hefner has asked her 'a million times' to get naked for his magazine but that she'll never

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782206735952652005-12-19T23:09:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:10:06.736-07:00

If there's one thing I know, it's Buddhism. So I can vouch for the fact that Buddhists are absolutely thrilled that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting married in a Buddhist ceremony precisely because it doesn't really count to them. No one objects to being trivialized by western Hollywood types less than Buddhists. I don't doubt that Brad is serious on some level - he is trying to

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782157476447972005-12-16T23:08:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:09:17.476-07:00

Sure, I am pleased as punch that there is huge turnout in the Iraqi elections but I want to know why the mainstream media are last to press with the knowledge that Iraqi women are all secretly Ninjas.That's right, you read it here first. I agree it's a clever tactic to make them wear burlap sacks but with all of that stuff on, how do you know they are even women? The Japanese have already

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782106809178552005-12-14T23:07:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:08:26.810-07:00

I can't speak for any of you, but if I am a cop, I have handcuffs. And if I have handcuffs and two drunken Playboy models start offering sex to get out of taking a ride downtown, those handcuffs are darn well getting used.But those San Antonio boys-in-blue held firm ... or the video cameras were rolling ... because they didn't flinch. Instead they busted Danielle Gamba and Carrie Minter for

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157782043978840252005-12-08T23:06:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:07:23.980-07:00

Nothing makes me giggle like B-list actresses saying stupidly ridiculous things. Even fame-whoring British magazine reporters are aghast that she contends she had to go into therapy when she was six years old for seeing ghosts."In New York City, everybody goes into therapy. Yeah! Oh my God, yeah! I mean, sure, I had trouble, I was seeing ghosts and stuff, but it's to do with the New York

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157781988092820702005-12-07T23:05:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:06:28.093-07:00

In an interview in Britain's Grazia Magazine, Uma Thurman says she is still "out there and available if anyone's interested. As one who adores the male species, I feel compassionately towards them. I've studied them carefully like a hunter watches its prey. I love all the guys out there."Now, before you fellas get all hopped up on testosterone and give her a call, you need a quick primer on what

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157781929870898282005-12-05T23:04:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:05:29.870-07:00

In the best idea I have heard of since Microsoft® BOB® and Smucker's® Goober®, convicted madame Heidi Fleiss has decided what Nevada needs is an all-male bordello. Now, I can understand why men might visit a brothel. I have seen some of my fellow men in action trying to land dates ... and it ain't pretty. Paying is always better when you're too incompetent to hold a decent conversation. And

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157781852941986152005-12-01T23:02:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:04:12.943-07:00

If you're like me, your first thought was "Who the hell is Enrique Iglesias?" Then I remembered, yeah, he's the guy married to Buffy The Vampire Slayer.No, wait, that isn't him at all. This guy is apparently related to a famous singer ... or he's supposed to be some kind of singer himself. But that isn't what made him famous. Being on this blog made him famous. Why is he on this blog? For

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157781729437847992005-11-23T23:01:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:02:09.436-07:00

Christina Aguilera Gets Married, Gives Hope To Ugly Guys EverywhereOkay, she got married and actually looks pretty good here, but what woman doesn't on her wedding day?Yet look at the guy she married. Dude, you can shave on your wedding day. What this really does is reaffirm the advice I have given to women countless times: DATE UGLY MEN. They try harder. I mean, look at this guy. I have

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32913192.post-1157781684544115932005-11-21T23:00:00.000-08:002006-09-08T23:01:24.553-07:00

Ram Bomjon has a pretty good gig. He spends his days meditating under a tree. He hasn't had to cook or order takeout for six months. Heck, he hasn't eaten anything at all. Not even a McNugget, say the thousands of worshippers who have flocked to southern Nepal to worship the 15-year-old boy.As you can imagine, 6 months without food or water has made him pretty skinny. Now, that's not for me,

Chief Scientistnoreply@blogger.com